


interpolation

by transient_transit



Series: components for a person [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Childhood, Cute, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Growing Up, Hybrids, Postpartum Psychosis, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 01:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12158415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transient_transit/pseuds/transient_transit
Summary: Snapshots of a family, throughout the years.





	1. Hansol & Jeonghan: Ears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (only loosely inspired by the burrito jeonghan becomes every time there's a comeback)

"I heard, I'm so sorry."  
   
"It's okay," his brother replied awkwardly, "he'll be fine. He's resting up well, and should be home soon."  
   
"Well, if there's anything I can do for you or Hansol or Seungkwan in the coming weeks, just tell me, alright?"  
   
"Thank you. I appreciate it." His teacher nodded, and Jeonghan turned to Hansol. "Let's go home?"  
   
"Okay. Big brother, up," said Hansol, and held out his arms to be picked up. Jeonghan sighed, but acquiesced and swung him up easily into his arms.  
   
It was always so hard to tell what his brother was thinking when he was all bundled up from head to toe like this. Hansol laced his fingers together behind Jeonghan's neck and peered up at what he could see of his face, leaning his head against his shoulder.  
   
His teacher, like most people, had been wary of Jeonghan when he'd first come to pick Hansol up from school. It was probably hard not to be, when Jeonghan hid the bottom half of his face with a facemask, most of the top half with his hoodie, and the rest with long pants or long sleeves, even in this summer heat. But Jeonghan had been nothing but polite to her, and eventually she had warmed up to him and had even begun to reassure the more doubtful parents that he meant no harm—although Hansol had overheard her calling him a "goth" several times, whatever that meant.  
   
"Today we were supposed to draw ourselves as animals," Hansol began, abruptly, as they walked out the school gates, "and I drew myself as a jaguar. I know I'm not supposed to do you, but it was just me. So it's okay, right?"  
   
Jeonghan's eyes flickered down briefly to look at him before moving away to look forward again. "Sure."  
   
Hansol waited, but Jeonghan didn't say anything else or react in any other way, so he continued, "I drew it black with black spots like a real black jaguar and Miss called me smart for knowing that."  
   
"Did she?"  
   
"I said it was because I saw one before. But I said I saw it at a zoo. That's okay too, right?"  
   
"Uhuh. That sounds plausible,"  said Jeonghan, still sounding perfectly neutral. Hansol frowned, then reached up and tugged at the back of his brother's hood to pull it down.  
   
Jeonghan scowled and caught the top of the hood with his other hand before it could slip off. "Don't do that," he scolded, "you know it's not allowed."  
   
"But I wanna see your ears!" Hansol whined.  
   
Jeonghan sighed. "You can look at them as much as you like when we get home, okay? But not out here."  
   
Hansol pouted. What was the big deal about that, anyway? Sure, he'd gotten a whole talk from his dad about how Jeonghan was technically something called a hybrid and how that made a lot of people hate him for some reason and how that meant his brother had to hide himself in public, but there was nobody around right now and anyway, wasn't he hot? It was summer, after all.  
   
"Aren't you hot?" asked Hansol, a few minutes later.  
   
"Yes. Very. Will you walk on your own so I can be less hot?"  
   
Hansol tightened the grip he had around Jeonghan's neck. "Daddy always carries me when I'm tired."  
   
"I'm not your dad," said Jeonghan, rolling his eyes, but he didn't try to put Hansol down.  
   
"…are you mad that I tried to take your hood off?" asked Hansol after they had walked for a few more minutes.  
   
Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully, low in his throat. "It's okay, but only if you never do that again. No damage was done this time, but in the future something bad might happen. So you can't do things like that."  
   
"I'm sorry." mumbled Hansol, burying his face into the side of the hood, "I just wanted to see. I won't do it again."  
   
"Okay. Apology accepted," said Jeonghan, patting him on the back.  
   
"Show me your ears when we get home," Hansol continued, slightly muffled.  
   
"Sure."  
   
The rest of the short walk home was completed in silence; Hansol was set down on the porch so that Jeonghan could fumble with his keys. "Go get a glass of water from the kitchen," said Jeonghan as he closed the front door, "it was hot today. I'm going to go change out of these clothes and throw them into the wash."  
   
"Okay."  
   
Jeonghan came back out, a few minutes later, dressed in only a t-shirt and shorts with his tail held high. "Here they are," he said, running a hand through his hair between his ears. Hansol put down his glass of water and went over, going on his tiptoes and stretching his arm out towards Jeonghan's head.  
   
Jeonghan crouched down in front of him and bent his head lower so that Hansol could reach. "Why do you like them so much?" he asked, half-jokingly.  
   
"It's hard to tell what you're thinking when you cover them up," Hansol told him, solemnly, petting the top of his brother's head between his pricked ears and rubbing them gently between his fingertips. "I can only see your eyes and your tail's in your pants and your mouth is covered up so I get confused."  
   
Jeonghan blinked, surprised. Hansol watched his ears twitch.  
   
"I see," he said, after a moment. Hansol continued to run his fingers through Jeonghan's hair, scritching around his ears gently, digging his fingertips in just a bit into the spot behind them in the way that he knew his brother liked.  
   
Jeonghan's eyes were closing as he leaned into the touch, but he caught himself and stood back up out of Hansol's reach. "Sorry, Hansollie. I gotta do things since Seungkwan's in the hospital, I can't just sit here and be petted by you forever."  
   
Hansol gave his best puppy dog eyes. "Not forever. Just a bit?"  
   
"You're incorrigible. Fine, fine."  
   
"What does incorrigible mean?" asked Hansol as he crawled onto Jeonghan's lap.  
   
Jeonghan wrapped his arms around him from behind and rubbed his cheek against the top of Hansol's head. "It means that you're a rascal, and that you're always going to be one. And that I'm incapable of saying no to you."  
   
Hansol giggled, squirming. Jeonghan rested his chin on top of his head and huffed out a breath, body relaxing. It was nice to just close his eyes and lean backwards into his brother's chest.  
   
Just as Hansol was getting ready to drift off to sleep, Jeonghan nudged him and said, "Okay, it's been like ten minutes. Off with you."  
   
Hansol yawned. "Don't wanna."  
   
"You gotta."  
   
"Do I smell good?" he asked, craning his neck to look at Jeonghan's face. There was a flash of fangs as Jeonghan opened his mouth slightly to sniff.  
   
"You smell good, go and do your homework."  
   
"Not yet. Boop," said Hansol, twisting his body around and sticking out his face.  
   
"Yes, yes, fine, boop," Jeonghan mock-grumbled, and touched the tips of their noses together, gently. "Now get off," he said, and pushed his forehead into Hansol's chest to get him out of his lap. "Your dad's going to be home soon, and we can't have the house looking like a mess, can we?"  
   
"Nope!" said Hansol, then paused. "Daddy's going to be alright, right?"  
   
Jeonghan didn't miss a beat. "Of course. He'll be back soon, don't worry. Nothing ever brings Seungkwan down for long. We can go visit him again tomorrow if you're worried."  
   
"Okay!" Jeonghan ruffled Hansol's hair and headbutted his stomach softly, making him yelp and stumble backwards.  
   
"But only after you finish your work. Don't make me say it again."


	2. Seungkwan & Jeonghan: Self, part 1

"She finally agreed to go see a doctor about it," said Jeonghan, coming in and depositing a sleeping Hansol into the visitor's chair with a sigh, "so there's that. They want to know if you're going to press charges."  
   
Seungkwan smiled tightly. "Of course not. She's my wife, and it wasn't really her fault. She wasn't thinking straight."  
   
"No."  
   
They sat, in a silence that was only broken when one of the nurses poked her head in to tell them that visiting hours were almost up. Jeonghan thanked her, reassured her that they were going to be out on time, then resumed his awkward stance in the middle of the room.  
   
"Is he alright?" asked Seungkwan, finally, looking over at Hansol.  
   
"He's been fussing all day. He was yelling about wanting to see you, but he tired himself out and fell asleep." Jeonghan paused. "Are _you_ alright? You did just get hit by a car this morning."  
   
Seungkwan grimaced. "I'll be fine, there were just… complications with the broken bone. Compartment syndrome. That's why I had the surgery. So they'll have to keep me here for a bit longer. Right now they're saying six weeks, but they don't know exactly how long." He sighed, and ran the hand that wasn't hooked up to the IV stand over his face. "I'm sorry."  
   
"For what?"  
   
"I didn't want to push her, in her state, but maybe I should've. Before it caught you and Hansol in the crossfire. Thank you for doing this, Jeonghan, I know it's not easy. And I'm so sorry, for asking this of you now: please take care of Hansol for me while I'm in here."  
   
Jeonghan averted his eyes, looked at Hansol instead. "Of course. You didn't have to ask, it's no trouble. It's the least I can do."  
   
He looked up in surprise when Seungkwan grabbed the bottom of his hoodie. "Don't say that," said Seungkwan, seriously, "You don't owe me anything. You're like a son to me. Everything I did for you was because I love and care for you, and not because I expect the favour to be returned someday. You matter to me."  
   
Jeonghan didn't try to pull his clothes out of Seunkwan's grip but he didn't acknowledge him either, just kept looking away.  
   
Disappointed but not surprised, Seungkwan let go.  
   
"I don't feel obliged to look after him, if that's what you mean," tried Jeonghan, after a few minutes.  
   
"I know. You see him like he sees you. A brother."  
   
Uncomfortable, Jeonghan shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "Maybe," he hedged.  
   
"He loves you."  
   
"He's a kid. He doesn't understand anything yet."  
   
"He will still love you, no matter what he understands."  
   
"Even if I'm like this? Something else? Not human? Different?" Agitated but not quite having the room to pace, Jeonghan turned and took the few steps to the edge of the hospital curtains.  
   
Seungkwan considered this, heart dropping to the bottom of his stomach, then said, a little helplessly, "Hansol would be devastated if you left. He wouldn't want to be the cause."  
   
"He's young enough that he still might not remember me!" snapped Jeonghan, reflexively, before catching himself and turning to face Seungkwan head-on, tensing up, shoulders raised.  
   
"Jeonghan," said Seungkwan, very quietly, and blinked at him slowly before turning his head a little away.  
   
Jeonghan growled a little, upset, but understanding the gesture for what it meant.  
   
"Please come here."  
   
Jeonghan sat on the floor by his bedside, and let Seungkwan pet him through the cloth of his hoodie.  
   
"Sorry I didn't notice that you were struggling earlier."  
   
"With Hansol and your marriage and everything… that you noticed at all is a surprise," mumbled Jeonghan, giving in instinctively for a moment and nosing at the hand petting him before realising and burying his face into the hospital blankets instead.  
   
"No, you're one of my responsibilities, and it's my fault." Seungkwan stroked at the outlines of Jeonghan's ears that he could feel under the hood.  
   
Jeonghan didn't try to protest this time, just continued to let himself be petted.  
   
Seungkwan hesitated. "I know I've said this before, but maybe you should think about letting yourself be more… jaguar. If it feels right. You are different from us in that aspect, for good or for bad. It's okay to be. If you try it out and don't like it, you can always stop. Just start out slowly, maybe? There's a bunch of books in the cupboard in my room about cat owning and jaguars and other big cats-"  
   
"I read them," said Jeonghan, still not moving from his position, "I found them one day while you were all out. And I read them. All of them."  
   
Unable to see his face or his ears, Seungkwan wished he knew what Jeonghan was thinking. "Okay. Is there anything you wanted to maybe try?"  
   
Jeonghan mumbled, "Don't know," and tried to burrow deeper into the blankets.  
   
"Jeonghan?" prompted Seungkwan, rubbing his thumb in circles into the top of Jeonghan's head.  
   
"Maybe the blinking thing you did," he admitted, reluctantly. Seungkwan made an encouraging noise. "And the nose touching. And the thing about how things smell weird if they don't smell like me. Just, almost everything. The pictures, when I looked at them, I don't know. They looked right.  
   
"But I don't know if I'm going to develop claws or anything or want to eat people or something and I'm really, really scared that if I start suddenly I'll have an uncontrollable urge to hunt deer. And then I'll hurt Hansol or you or-"  
   
"I'm certain you won't hurt us. We'd be signalling to each other that we're friends. And we'd smell like family."  
   
Jeonghan didn't say anything.  
   
Seungkwan rested his hand on his head. "Try it for a week or two, maybe? Then we'll see."  
   
"Okay." He sounded almost defeated.  
   
Seungkwan bent his head down as far as he could go and pressed his mouth to Jeonghan's head. "You alright?"  
   
"Mmmhm."  
   
They stayed like that, with Seungkwan's hand on Jeonghan's head and Hansol in the chair next to the bed as the hospital bustled around them. Then, so fast that it was over before Seungkwan realised what was happening, Jeonghan lifted his head up and pressed the tip of his nose, very briefly, to Seungkwan's.  
   
"Okay, I'm taking Hansol home before the nurses kick us out," said Jeonghan, picking up the sleeping boy and settling him in his arms. Hansol didn't wake, just mumbled something indecipherable and grasped at Jeonghan's clothes.  
   
"Oh," replied Seungkwan intelligently, still a little in shock.  
   
"See you," said Jeonghan, and had raised an arm to push aside the curtains before he stopped.  
   
"You smell wrong," he muttered, "hurry up and get better so you can come home."  
   
Then, before Seungkwan could pull himself together enough reply, he was gone.


	3. Jeonghan: House and home

"Jeonghan?"  
   
Jeonghan turned slowly, keeping his hand on the doorknob.  
   
"What are you doing?" asked Seungk- the man.  
   
"Did I wake you? I'm sorry."  
   
"Don't worry about it, I was still awake. What's up?"  
   
"I just wanted to go outside for a bit. It's a bit warm inside and I wanted to cool down."  
   
"Okay. I'll come with you."  
   
Jeonghan didn't respond, just shuffled outside onto the porch and let the man turn on the dim lights, sitting down in the swing chair when he was indicated to do so.  
   
"The wind's nice, isn't it?"  
   
"Uhuh." Jeonghan kept his head low and his elbows on his knees, didn't say anything. Minutes passed.  
   
"Couldn't sleep?" asked the man, gently.  
   
Jeonghan shook his head, stared down at the shadows playing across his hands from the moths that were gathering around the porch lights.  
   
"Want to talk about it?"  
   
He shook his head again.  
   
"Okay. I'm here if you want to say anything."  
   
Jeonghan wished he wouldn't be, wished that he would go back inside, turn off the lights, and go to bed; wished that he would leave Jeonghan free to pick up his things from where he'd stowed them between one of the pot plants and the side of the house; wished that he'd yell or be cruel so that it would be easier to turn his back on the only place he'd ever been comfortable.  
   
Instead, the man just crossed his arms and leaned against the back of the chair, at ease and willing to wait for however it took for Jeonghan to crack.  
   
"Is anything wrong?" the man tried again, after a while.  
   
"Something doesn't have to be wrong. I just can't sleep," muttered Jeonghan in response. "Hasn't that ever happened to you?"  
   
The man laughed and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by another voice who said, "Never, ****** sleeps like a rock."  
   
"******," said the man in surprise, standing, as the woman came out of the house and closed the door behind her, moving slowly.  
   
"I woke up and you were gone," she yawned, "and the porch lights were on so I came outside to see."  
   
"Are you cold? Shouldn't you go back inside?" Jeonghan fretted, hovering anxiously as the man retrieved a blanket from inside the house and draped it over her shoulders.  
   
"Nah. I'll be fine," she laughed, patting him reassuringly on the thigh, "The chill feels good. Honestly, you both worry too much."  
   
"But the baby-"  
   
"The baby will be fine too, Jeonghan." The woman smiled up at him, a little sleepily. "A more pressing question would be: are you okay?"  
   
Turning away from her, Jeonghan curled his fingers into fists. "I'm fine."  
   
"Still being awake at 4am is generally not an indicator that everything's fine, you know," said the man, taking a seat again, next to his wife, "especially when you have a bag packed and ready to go just outside the door."  
   
Jeonghan flinched. The woman swatted her husband on the arm.  
   
"Don't scare him like that," she scolded. "We're not mad," she continued, earnestly, "if you want more food and things than you have in that bag, feel free to take some more."  
   
"Aren't you here to convince me out of going?" muttered Jeonghan, looking down and picking at the edges of his borrowed clothes.  
   
"Well, yeah. But if at the end of this discussion, you still want to leave, we can't really stop you."  
   
Immediately, Jeonghan said, "I still want to leave." A feeling that was almost like regret swirled at the bottom of his stomach as hurt flashed briefly across both their faces.  
   
After a moment, the man tried, "You're only, thirteen? Fourteen, maybe? Surely it wouldn't hurt to stay with us a little while longer."  
   
"Don't know my age," said Jeonghan, bluntly, "Nobody ever told me when I was born."  
   
"Either way, you're still young. Why do you have to leave so urgently?"  
   
"Do you have somewhere you want to go, Jeonghan?" asked the woman, "If you have something else you need to do, we can help."  
   
"Jeonghan's not my real name, you know," said Jeonghan, ignoring the questions, "It's just something I made up to tell you the first time you asked me."  
   
They both shrugged, unfazed. The man said, "It can be your real name if you want. There's nothing special about the first thing someone calls you. It's your name; you have the power to change it to whatever you want."  
   
Jeonghan scowled and resumed fiddling with the bottom of his hoodie moodily.  
   
For a while nobody spoke; the only sound was of the creaking of the swing chair. Then the woman spoke up. "Give me your hand, Jeonghan."  
   
Reluctantly, he put it in hers. She flipped his hand palm down, then pressed it to her swollen belly.  
   
Jeonghan jerked, but her grip was firm. "I'm going to hurt you," he said, a slight edge of his panic bleeding through into the words, "Let me go, I'm-"  
   
"Shhh. Don't speak. Just feel."  
   
The stretched cotton of her shirt was warm. "I felt it," he gasped, as something bumped against the flat of his palm, unsure if he was more surprised or scared, "I felt it. Him."  
   
"His name is going to be Hansol," she said, smiling down at her belly, "and he will grow up big and strong and smart and beautiful. He will call me his mum,****** his dad, and you his brother. Please take care of him."  
   
Jeonghan stood up abruptly, yanking his hand out from her grasp. "I can't," he said, "I'm going to hurt him."  
   
"You're not. You won't."  
   
"I can't."  
   
"You can."  
   
Backing away, Jeonghan continued to shake his head. "You don't want him around someone like me," he said, "I don't- I'm not- "  
   
He fell silent. The other two watched him.  
   
"I can't do it," he finished, finally.  
   
"Why not?" asked the mother of the baby, gently.  
   
"I just can't."  
   
"Is there anything important that you haven't told us that would endanger us?" asked the father of the baby.  
   
"Of course not!"  
   
"Then what's the problem?"  
   
Jeonghan sat back down, heavily.  
   
"I'm a hybrid. I'm wrong, and my owner's probably still looking for me. I don't belong here, with you. If they find me, they're going to make your lives hard. They'll mess everything up, because of me."  
   
"What else?"  
   
"What do you mean, what else? There's so much! I'm going to die before I reach my forties just because of the way I am. There's no forever if I stay. I'm not going to live that long even if I'm here. Do you want to watch me die?"  
   
"What else?"  
   
"I'm just dead weight! I can't even go outside without needing to layer up like crazy. I'm instantly noticeable wherever I go just because I look I don't know how to dress properly. I can't even get groceries without it being a whole production, I can't do anything for you, so why should I be allowed to stay when I don't contribute?"  
   
"What else?"  
   
Jeonghan snarled, "Isn't that enough? What more do you need?"  
   
The woman shrugged. "A good reason?"  
   
"We haven't heard anything yet that would make us kick you out," piped up the man, "those are all acceptable. We thought about it together, and we decided they weren't a problem. So, what else?"  
   
"What do you mean they're not good enough?" asked Jeonghan, voice cracking, "you could lose so much."  
   
The man said, "It'd be nothing compared to if we lost you here," and moved to wrap his arms around him.  
   
The woman reached for his hand, enfolding it within her own. "Don't go. I want Hansol to meet you when he's born."  
   
"I don't know how to take care of a baby," admitted Jeonghan into the shoulder of the man's shirt, "What if I mess it up? What if I do something terrible without realising? What if I kill him accidentally? What if-" He broke off.  
   
"What if I get a miscarriage tomorrow? What if he's stillborn? What if I die giving birth to him?" continued the woman.  
   
"What if we can't make ends meet? What if he doesn't grow up well? What if he has an incurable disease?" the man chimed in, rubbing slow circles into Jeonghan's back.  
   
"It's okay, we're scared too," she reassured him, "and everything could go wrong. But everything could go right. We won't know unless we try. The only thing we can do is try."  
   
   
   
~~~~~~  
   
   
   
_"******?"_  
   
_Jeonghan turned slowly, keeping his hand on the doorknob._  
   
_"What are you doing?" asked the man._  
   
_"Did I wake you? I'm sorry."_  
   
_"What are you doing?"_  
   
_"I just wanted to go outside for a bit. It's a bit warm inside and I wanted to cool down."_  
   
_"I see."_  
   
_Jeonghan waited, heart pounding, but the man didn't say anything, so he opened the door and stepped outside._  
   
_"******."_  
   
_Jeonghan stopped, one foot still inside the house._  
   
_"Come back inside soon."_  
   
_"I will."_  
   
_"You know what might happen, don't you?"_  
   
_Jeonghan shivered, tried not to show it. "Yes."_  
   
_"Good," said the man, and went back into his room. Jeonghan watched him go._  
   
_When the door of the man's room closed, Jeonghan stepped over the threshold, and ran._  
   
   
   
~~~~~~  
   
   
   
Jeonghan's going to run.  
   
As soon as he has all his strength back, he's going to run, as far away as possible, where nobody knows his name or his face or what his is. He can't get attached, can't let himself stay and get attached and feel warm in the pretense these people are providing him. Something bad will happen because of him; there's no doubt about that.  
   
Jeonghan's going to run.  
   
As soon as he can bring himself to, he's going to run.


	4. Interlude: Family

The car showed up three minutes early, but Chan was already there and waiting.   
   
"Third door on the left," he said, holding the back door open for them as they filed past him, "It should have my name on it."  
   
"Thanks for doing this," said Seungkwan gratefully, herding his son along in front of him, "I know this time of year gets busy for you."  
   
Chan shook his head. "No, I understand. And your circumstances are unique, so of course I'd be willing to accommodate them." He closed his office door, locked it, and turned to his patient. The black jaguar hybrid looked up at him, wary and unblinking as he disinfected his hands.   
   
"Jeonghan, was it?" he asked kindly. "Can you take your hoodie and mask off for me?"  
   
The fur on his feline ears was glossy and full, a good sign of health. Chan asked for permission before running his hands gently over them, folding them back to peer inside the canals with a torch. He looked into the human ears after that with his otoscope, then into his eyes, before asking Jeonghan to open his mouth so he could examine his throat and fangs.   
   
"Looking good," he said, letting go and stepping back to give him some space. Jeonghan twitched his ears and ran his own hand over them, uncomfortable. On the other side of the room, Seungkwan's son Hansol was biting his lip as he watched, restrained by the arm his father had around his stomach.   
   
"Have you felt uncomfortable in any way recently? Maybe something just feels off or you've noticed something about your body change?"  
   
"No."  
   
"Any changes in appetite or energy levels?"  
   
"Not really."  
   
"Is there anything else I might want to know about?"  
   
"No."  
   
"Okay. Can you turn around a little? I'm going to listen to your heart."  
   
The rest of the exam went by without Chan finding anything out of the ordinary; he was mostly just cataloguing new information that Jeonghan hadn't known about himself like his weight and height. Chan suggested that he could make a file for him on the hybrid care centre's database, but Jeonghan vehemently protested so Chan ended up taking notes by hand to scan for Seungkwan later, written under a fake name.   
   
When all of the usual things had been checked, Chan turned to Jeonghan and asked, "Would you like me to do some blood tests while you're here? I'll have to draw some blood, but it can reveal deeper issues about your health that I can't find just by examining you."  
   
Jeonghan's face didn't change, but his ears flattened out a little nervously at the suggestion even as he said, "Okay," eyes flickering towards Seungkwan, who nodded encouragingly.  
   
In the other room, Chan asked his patient to sit down as he collected the things he would need. "Would you like me to have a look at everything?"  
   
Jeonghan grimaced, but nodded. His eyes tracked Chan's fingers as they collected tubes and pulled on plastic gloves.  
   
"Okay. Sit back and relax. Left arm or right arm?"  
   
"Left."  
   
"Okay. Make a fist for me?"  
   
Chan stuck his hands under the sleeve of Jeonghan's t-shirt to apply the tourniquet, tapping on his forearm to bring the veins closer to the surface and feeling lightly around the area for where to pierce.   
   
"I'm going to start now," he warned him. Jeonghan nodded and looked away, staring fixedly at a poster on the wall that depicted the proper procedure for washing hands.   
   
The needle slid in easily, and the tube began filling with blood. It went relatively quickly, with Jeonghan keeping his eyes firmly on the opposite wall, and Chan switching out the tubes at regular intervals without too much trouble. He watched Jeonghan carefully; felines were a difficult species when it came to pain and hiding it.   
   
"Last one," murmured Chan, slotting it in. Jeonghan nodded to show that he had heard, but otherwise didn't move his eyes from the wall.   
   
Chan held the tube up to the light to make sure it was full, then pressed a cotton wool ball over the venipuncture site. "Done. Keep the pressure on here," he said, and began labelling the tubes with the chosen alias.  
   
Jeonghan waited until he was finished, then said, "I think I'm going to pass out." He hadn't stopped staring at the other wall.  
   
Immediately, Chan put down the marker and helped him over to the bed, saying, "Lie down." He made sure Jeonghan was comfortable before sticking a band-aid over the puncture wound and taking the cotton wool. "What's wrong?"  
   
Jeonghan tensed as Chan hovered over him. "I'm seeing spots, and I think my ears are ringing."  
   
"Okay," said Chan, taking a few steps back, "that sounds pretty normal, just rest for a little while." He paused, thinking, then said, "I'll be in the other room. Call me if you need me."  
   
"Thanks," said Jeonghan, a slight note of relief in his voice.   
   
Chan left him, going back into his office. Seungkwan and his son looked up from the hushed conversation they were having as he entered. "I'm finished, but Jeonghan said he felt a bit unwell so he's still in the room. Give it a few minutes, and he'll probably be okay."  
   
Hansol popped up immediately, ignoring his father's "Hansol!" and bolted for the examination room, ducking around Chan's legs.  
   
"I'm so sorry," apologised Seungkwan, hurrying after him, "he was worried about Jeonghan so I let him come on the condition that he'd behave."  
   
"No, no, it's alright," said Chan, following them back into the room and feeling oddly warmed by their concern, "there's nothing sensitive happening, so if Hansol wants to come in, that's okay. Plus, it might make Jeonghan feel better to have him there."  
   
"I'm fine," murmured Jeonghan, as Hansol ran to his side and peered worriedly up at his face, "just a little dizzy." He reached up to ruffle Hansol's hair, receiving a gentle head bunt on the cheek in return. Jeonghan laughed, and turned his head to blink slowly at Hansol, who blinked slowly back.  
   
Surprised, Chan lowered his voice and asked Seungkwan, "Are they always like this?"  
   
"What do you mean?"  
   
"The casual way they… show affection in both human and feline ways.  The head bunting's a cat thing; it's something done to share scent with friends. The blinking shows trust and love. Hansol isn't part cat, is he?"  
   
"Oh. It's a thing that Jeonghan's trying out. He read that book on big cats you recommended to me after I did, and took some tips from it. Hansol's not cat, but he gets it better than I do because Jeonghan keeps testing new stuff on him first," explained Seungkwan, watching them fondly. "Jeonghan's a lot more open with him than he is with me."  
   
"I see. I'm glad the book was useful to you."  
   
"Thanks for answering all my stupid questions back then," Seungkwan said, with a laugh, "I really didn't know what to do in the beginning, so you were really helpful."  
   
"Don't worry about it," Chan replied, eyes still on the pair, "I was happy to help out, and happy you cared enough to ask." He glanced at Seungkwan. "How's your wife, by the way?"  
   
"Getting better," said Seungkwan, with a tired smile, "it's slow progress, but she's getting better."  
   
"That's good. If-" Chan cut off as his phone buzzed. "Oh, right. Soonyoung and Jihoon are here."  
   
Seungkwan looked concerned. "Is anything wrong?"  
   
"Nah, just the monthly check-up." To Jeonghan, he added, "Stay there for a few more minutes then maybe try sitting up slowly. Lie down again if you're still dizzy. Take your time, okay? I'm just going to be next door with Soonyoung and Jihoon."  
   
In the waiting room, Chan collected the relevant medical files and papers. Seungcheol had already gone home for the day, so he called to the receptionist, "Send them to Seungcheol's office, please."  
   
He didn't wait in there long; a few minutes later Soonyoung came in with the cat carrier and a big smile on his face. "Chan," he greeted, putting his hands on Chan's face and playing with his cheeks, "I haven't seen you in a month, Channie."  
   
"Stop, I'm a professional," Chan whined until he let go.   
   
"I'm hurt. Aren't you happy to see me?"  
   
"I don't care about you, I'm here for Jihoon."  
   
Soonyoung pouted, but acquiesced and turned to the cat carrier. "Jihoonie," he crooned, "we're here. I'm taking off the top."  
   
There was the sound of something shifting inside, then Jihoon said, "I know, I was already woken up by your annoying voice."  
   
"Okay, okay," responded Soonyoung, and undid the latches on the sides of the carrier to reveal a large, fluffy white cat lying on its side. Jihoon yawned and got up laboriously, rubbing as his face with his paw as Chan begin to check him over.   
   
Soonyoung hugged the top of the cat carrier, watching as Chan prodded all the usual places and asked questions. Jihoon didn't report anything new or out of the ordinary, so they were finished in a few minutes.   
   
"Everything looks, well, as expected," said Chan, keeping his eyes on Jihoon's face as he stroked him so that he didn't have to see Soonyoung's, "it's not getting a lot worse and it's not getting better."  
   
"I see."  
   
"You've been doing well," said Chan quietly, to both of them. Then, when they didn't reply, he forced himself to raise his head and smile at them. "Seungkwan's family is next door. Do you two want to go see them?"   
   
"Jeonghan came in, then?" asked Soonyoung, surprised.  
   
"He agreed, but only if his records were to go under a different name." Chan bit his lip. "He's terrified his ex-owner will find him."   
   
They exchanged glances, and Soonyoung sighed. Under his hand, Jihoon opened his jaws wide and licked his teeth.  
   
"But yeah, Jeonghan's here."  
   
"Is he alright?" asked Jihoon.   
   
Soonyoung turned to him, beaming, "Aww, Jihoonie cares!" and received a glare in return.  
   
"It was just a checkup," reassured Chan, "he's fine."  
   
"Good," yawned Jihoon, then pawed at the bottom of Soonyoung's shirt. "Let's go."  
   
"Why do you only pay attention to me when you want something from me?" lamented Soonyoung, but obligingly cradled his friend in his arms and took him to the next room, with Chan leading the way.  
   
Jeonghan, who was seemingly feeling better, was sitting up and watching Hansol wander around the edge of the room and look around at the medical equipment with Seungkwan. Theatrically, Soonyoung declared, "Here we are! Long time no see," and lowered Jihoon gently into Jeonghan's lap.   
   
"Hi," Jihoon said, tilting his face up. Jeonghan bent down and they touched their noses together in greeting.   
   
"Hi yourself, Jihoonie," replied Jeonghan, and began to stroke him with a soft, fond look on his face.  
   
There was a grumble of "Don't call me Jihoonie," but he started to purr contentedly under Jeonghan's hands anyway.   
   
"I wish there were more people like you and Seungkwan's family," said Chan wistfully to Soonyoung, watching Hansol approach Jihoon and start petting him too under Jeonghan's attentive eyes, "it would really make the world a better place."  
   
Jihoon was batting at Hansol's fingers as he dangled them in front of him, snatching them away every time Jihoon raised his paws. Seungkwan had sat down in the spot next to Jeonghan, put a comforting arm around his shoulders, and was letting him lean into him slightly.   
   
"People like us can only exist because people like you and Seungcheol do, Chan." Soonyoung hugged Chan to his side one-armedly. "Thank you for all that you do."  
   
Chan nodded, still watching the family.   
   
"They really look like they belong together."


	5. Seungkwan & Hansol: Disclaimer

"I told you I don't want to!"  
   
"Can you at least hear me out all the way and consider it before you refuse?"  
   
Seungkwan stopped as the door swung shut in his face, sighing. Helplessly, he looked down the hallway to his other son for support.  
   
Hansol had seen the whole thing from when his father had sneakily tried to corner his brother to when said brother had stalked away with his ears turned back in annoyance, but he avoided his father's eyes and pretended to have kept his gaze on his book the whole time.  
   
"Your brother's going through his rebellious teenager phase," commented Seungkwan, dropping onto the couch next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders, "I'm glad you're not old enough to be doing that yet."  
   
"I will be soon," pointed out Hansol, turning the page, "I'm almost ten."  
   
"Shhhhhhhhhh. I'm not listening," said Seungkwan, fiddling with the fine hairs at the back of his son's neck, "I'm going to keep believing you stay cute and adorable like this forever, and won't ever storm off without listening to me."  
   
"It's because you did it like _that_ , you know," admonished Hansol, still not looking up, "you could've gone slower or actually sat down to talk about it properly."  
   
Seungkwan made a face. "What do you mean?"  
   
Hansol sighed and put a bookmark in to mark his place. "You sprung it on him. You didn't really let him choose, you just went, "this is your life now!" and showed him the form. That's pretty scary."  
   
"I- well- what other option is there? I thought if I did it casually it wouldn't be as scary. Besides, it doesn't really change anything."  
   
"Except it does," said Hansol, running his hands over the cover of the book, "he'd be signing everything away to you. You'd _own_ him."  
   
"But I wouldn't act any differently towards him. He knows that," protested Seungkwan. "I wouldn't ever force him to do anything he doesn't agree to."  
   
Hansol stared at his lap. "I think it just gives him bad vibes."  
   
"Bad vibes?"  
   
Hansol scrunched up his face. "Uhhh, like when you let someone borrow something and then they lose the thing and then next time when someone else wants to borrow anything you're like "please don't lose it" because it happened once and now you're scared of it happening again. It's got nothing to do with the second someone, but you still get scared kind of bad vibes."  
   
Frowning, Seungkwan pondered this as he stared in the direction of Jeonghan's room. "I wouldn't be like the first someone," he said, "and I've clearly done something wrong if he thinks I would be."  
   
Hansol eyed him. "It's not about you. He doesn't think that. He just remembers the bad stuff and gets scared."  
   
"How do I… give good vibes, then?"  
   
"I don't know. Talk to him about it or something. You're the dad," he said, with a sideways glance.  
   
Seungkwan huffed. "He tells you stuff he doesn't tell me, you know. You have an unfair advantage."  
   
"And you always ask me for help whenever Jeonghan's being difficult," pointed out Hansol, "Like now, about the hybrid laws and ownership stuff. He gets it, he really does, he just doesn't want to think about what it means, so he's avoiding it."  
   
"When did you learn so much about this, anyway?" asked Seungkwan, tilting his head.  
   
"The internet exists. I had to look up a lot of words to understand," Hansol admitted, "but I couldn't not know. Not when it was something important that involved Jeonghan."  
   
He was really growing up. Seungkwan watched his son kick his legs against the couch and thought about the time he had been called to school in the middle of work one day because Hansol had gotten into a fight with another kid.  
   
When questioned about it at home, Hansol had said, angrily, "They were talking about how they wanted to get a wolf hybrid in the future when they grew up and had lots of money just because it was cool."  
   
Seungkwan had opened his mouth, but Jeonghan had spoken first.  
   
"Let it go," he had admonished, in the middle of putting away the dishes, "I don't care. Don't get into fights for something like that."  
   
"I care!" Hansol had yelled, a lot more loudly than Seungkwan had expected, "I care, even if you don't!" and had stormed into the room he shared with Jeonghan, slamming the door behind him.  
   
Seungkwan had looked at Jeonghan, but he was already finishing up at the sink, looking unconcerned. He had figured that they'd probably resolve it somehow between themselves, so he hadn't done anything about it. Sure enough, the next day they were friendly again and Hansol even brushed Jeonghan's hair for him.  
   
As a result, Seungkwan hadn't asked about their fight, thinking it was fine as long as the two were no longer fighting, but he was starting to wonder if maybe he should've sat Hansol down at some point and talked to him about all the bigger issues and implications involving hybrids. Jeonghan was an important member of their family, and Hansol had clearly expressed his investment in problems involving his brother.  
   
But it was just so hard to find the time to sit down and have a serious discussion about things he wasn't sure Hansol could really grasp yet when Seungkwan was supporting all of them on his paycheck while his wife was still living away from them, and harder still to try to explain to his very young son why most of the world seemed to treat the hybrid that had half-raised him in derogatory ways and like nothing more than an object to be displayed as a sign of status.  
   
He was also very much not about to put Jeonghan through explaining it, so him it would have to be. "Was there anything you still don't understand about the new laws?" he asked.  
   
Hansol paused thoughtfully, mid-kick. "Hybrids are supposed to all have a registered owner, right? Jeonghan's registered under his old owner, but because of the new laws and the Hybrid Rights people, they're being stricter and putting up bounty for lost hybrids. He was probably reported as missing, and someone might see how he covers up and notify the authorities for the reward.  
   
"Right."  
   
"So it's more dangerous for him now, because they might find him and take him away from us. But if we pay the fee every year and submit a form that says he's been ours since before his old owner had him, then they can't do that because he'd be ours."  
   
"Yes. Chan offered to get us into the system quietly like he did for Seungcheol's hybrids, but I didn't want to do it without Jeonghan agreeing to it first."  
   
"Okay," said Hansol, looking up into his father's eyes, "but why?"  
   
"What do you mean? Of course I would ask him first before doing anything."  
   
"No, I mean why do hybrids have to be owned by others? Aren't they people? Doesn't it count for something if Jeonghan wants to stay with us instead of go back?"  
   
Seungkwan hesitated, then continued, "Hansol, hybrids are a very… varied people. It works for some hybrids to be owned by people, because they think more like animals and would rather live more like animals than people. Other hybrids are more like humans with a few animal traits, and they're the ones that would benefit the most from having their own autonomy. Then there are ones like Jihoon, who have the minds of humans but don't have the physical bodies to live like a human.  
   
"Most people don't often get to see or meet hybrids, so they often have a very skewed perspective of them all as animals that don't have the thought capabilities of humans. There's a lot of prejudice against them as well, since some people disagree with the biological fusion even though that's not the fault of the hybrids themselves.  
   
"And of course, as you know, most people who own a hybrid do it for the social status it gives them. It's like owning a Lamborghini or a giant mansion to them; the feelings of the hybrids themselves don't really come into play for them. That's why it's incredibly expensive to own a hybrid, and why there's an industry built around dragging hybrids back to their owners when they escape; even the most loving owner can be suffocating if they don't respect you as the person you are.  
   
"So yes, hybrids are people too, and their rights need to be respected more than they are currently, but it's also a lot more complicated than just changing a law."  
   
Hansol looked down, biting his lip, deep in thought. "If most people don't know what hybrids are like, why did you take Jeonghan in? Did you know about hybrids before you met him?"  
   
Leaning back, Seungkwan hummed briefly in thought. "Well, I didn't really know I was going to take him in until I did. Really, the first time your mother and I saw his shadow under the big tree outside, all we saw was this suspicious and scary figure lurking outside our window, outlined by the occasional flash of lightning in the pouring rain. But when I went outside to investigate, with only a shovel for protection, I just found a kid, shivering from head to toe. His ears pricked when I approached, and he cowered away from me like he was afraid I would hurt him. I went back inside and said to your mum, "Honey, I found a hybrid in our garden!"  
   
"She said, "Well, why isn't he drying off inside the house yet?" and sent me back outside with an umbrella and a can of tuna. I tried to lure your brother in with the food, calling, "here, kitty kitty!" You can imagine my surprise when he spoke back. Jeonghan was not amused by my antics; he was soaked through and tired and very alone. He ate the tuna anyway, as well as all our leftovers, and went to sleep curled up on the couch.  
   
"While he slept, your mother and I had a very long discussion—and in the morning, we invited him to stay with us for a little while longer. He was very thin and always ate so fast, like if he didn't finish it straight away the food would vanish right before his eyes. He would always tense up whenever we locked the door, so we got another set of the house keys made for him. Even so, during the first month or so Jeonghan never set foot outside at all.  
   
"He would never let us touch him, and always stared at you with big, big unblinking eyes. His ears would always flatten out in alarm at the slightest of unexpected noises, and the both of us always made sure to move slowly and loudly to broadcast our locations in the house. He liked to hide his ears and tail, even in the house and even as wearing so many layers was clearly uncomfortable. But it was something he was doing because he felt the need to, so we never said a word about it.  
   
"Back then, your mother hadn't gotten sick yet and was only just pregnant with you. Later, when she needed more help and was sick more often, your brother began to help out more. Getting to know us better calmed him down, I think, and he stopped feeling like he needed to hide so much." Seungkwan smiled fondly. "It was after you were born that he stopped hiding so much."  
   
Throughout his entire recount, Hansol hadn't said a word, just propped his chin on his palm and listened. Now, he looked puzzled. "What? Why me?"  
   
Seungkwan bumped their shoulders together playfully, coaxing a smile from his son. "You know, Jeonghan used to be afraid to touch you. He was the fourth person to hold you after the nurse, your mother, and me, but for a very long time he wouldn't touch you of his own accord or when alone. He'd pick you up if me or your mother asked him to, but otherwise he'd keep his hands completely off you. I think he was always afraid of hurting you somehow, or making you dislike him somehow. He really wanted you to like him. He stopped covering up so much in the house because he was afraid the mask and everything would scare you.  
   
"One day, after things were starting to become tense between us, your mother and I decided to take a break. We left you and Jeonghan at home and planned to just taking a walk around the block. The discussion didn't go quite as quickly as we thought, and by the end we'd accidentally fallen asleep on a bench in the park. It was dark when we woke up, and we sprinted the whole way home in panic.  
   
"When we got home, we found Jeonghan sitting in the chair next to your cot, holding you in his arms and trying to rock you back to sleep. You were wide awake, laughing and pulling at his hair with your tiny fingers."  
   
Hansol was looking up, mouth slightly open in surprise as Seungkwan continued, "I asked him about it later and he said that you woke up, started crying, and wouldn't stop until he picked you up. I felt so warm, standing there and seeing you smile at him and him smile shyly back.  
   
"After that he didn't seem to be so afraid anymore, didn't hesitate to play with you or pick you up. Once, we came home and you two were mock growling at each other and scampering about on the floor. Jeonghan was really embarrassed but your mother and I were both glad; he never let himself act like anything else other than someone who was fully human back then. Sometimes he'd forget himself but whenever he realised what he was doing he'd freeze and always looked to us to see if we'd seen him."  
   
Seungkwan sighed, glancing down the hallway again. "He's always so hard to convince out of his habits. I don't know what happened to him to make him that way, but if he could understand how much he means to us sometime this century, that would be great. The money is really nothing, I'd be happy to do a lot more than this if it would keep him safe." He ran a hand over his face and sank back into the couch, suddenly tired. "I just wish he'd stop trying to fight it."  
   
Hansol leaned over to pat him on the shoulder. "He'll come around," he said solemnly, "just keep trying. We'll get through."  
   
"I know, I know. I'll keep talking to him. Thanks," said Seungkwan, and reached over the ruffle his son's hair. "I love you," he said, and returned the slow blink that Hansol sent his way. Then, he pushed himself up from the couch and took his time walking up to the room Jeonghan had sequestered himself in.  
   
Seungkwan thought about everything they'd talked about and everything Hansol had said. He thought about the kid he'd taken in ten years ago and about second someones and what it must feel like to know that signing yourself away to someone else was the only option you had left to you.  
   
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.  
   
"Jeonghan? Can I come in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates every 4ish days
> 
>  
> 
> thanks to woozdum for reading this chapter!


	6. Hansol & Jeonghan: Home in a house

"I haven't-"  
   
"It must've been you! Who else would it have been?"  
   
"I didn't," Hansol heard his father argue, "why would I do something like that?"  
   
"Who else could it have been?! It couldn't have been Hansol, and Jeonghan hasn't gone into our room today. The only person who could've done it was you!" screamed his mother, accompanied by the sound of something being knocked over.  
   
"But it wasn't me!"  
   
In his room, Hansol narrated "The spaceship is travelling at five million kilometres an hour away from Earth," and made the appropriate spaceship noises with his mouth as he imagined the ship carrying its passengers far, far away from their planet of origin.  
   
Hansol heard the sound of his door being opened and looked up. Jeonghan came in, already dressed in long, sagging pants and a hoodie with his facemask poking out of the pocket. "Hey, Hansol," he greeted, crouching down next to him, "Wanna go to the park?"  
   
Hansol nodded and abandoned his spaceship, so Jeonghan sat on the bed and waited for him as he found his jacket and put on his shoes.  
   
The argument was still going as they left Hansol's room and headed towards the door. "Wait," called Jeonghan, barely audible over the angry words in the background, "let me write a note to tell them where we've gone so they don't freak out." He found a piece of spare paper, and Hansol brought him a crayon from his room.  
   
_I'm taking Hansol out to the park,_ his brother scribbled, _we'll be back before dinnertime._ He stuck it under someone's mug that was on the table, and held out his hand for Hansol to take.  
   
It was finally quiet when Jeonghan led him out of the house, closing the front door on the sounds of the argument. Hansol held his hand as they walked down the path, kicking at dandelions and watching the seeds float away. It didn't take them long to reach the park. It was empty—which was surprising since it was a Saturday afternoon.  
   
"Should've brought an umbrella," muttered Jeonghan, squinting up at the sky. Hansol looked up, too, and saw that it was overcast, the clouds looking swollen with rain.  
   
"I don't mind," offered Hansol, "it's easier for you this way, isn't it? Without people. We can always go home if it rains." He glanced up, face open. "Unless you want to go home now?"  
   
Jeonghan looked at him for a moment, then he leaned down to brush Hansol's hair out of his eyes and said, "Go and play before it starts to rain."  
   
"Okay," said Hansol, and tugged on Jeonghan's arm to get him to follow him up the coloured stairs and to the stylised ship's wheel where he pointed to something on the distance and said, "Let's set sail for a faraway country."  
   
Jeonghan played along. "Where to, Captain?"  
   
"Our home planet exploded," Hansol declared, "so we're going to escape to a place where we can hide."  
   
"A place where we can hide" turned out to be behind a colourful plastic fence. Hansol giggled, crouching, and excitedly discussed plans to get revenge on the culprits of the planet-destroyers, incorporating the complex geography of the swings, slide, and climbing wall.  
   
While he was halfway across a rickety bridge above a rushing ravine, Jeonghan glanced up. It was starting to rain; droplets of water were beading on the playground equipment and in Hansol's hair.  
   
"Let's take shelter in the Yellow Planet," he offered, climbing inside the plastic tunnel and holding his arms out for Hansol.  
   
Hansol gasped. "I can't believe we were unlucky enough to get caught by the poisoned water," he exclaimed, clambering in. He curled up against his brother's side, resting his head on his chest and making himself comfortable. Jeonghan began to hum idly, after some moments, chest thrumming pleasantly under Hansol's ear as he threaded his fingers through Hansol's hair.  
   
"Sorry we stayed so long because of me. I know you hate getting wet." Hansol's voice echoed slightly in the plastic tube.  
   
He felt Jeonghan shrug. "I don't mind. I accepted that it might happen if we stayed. It's fine, we'll just stay in here until it clears up."  
   
"You're not mad?"  
   
"No. Why would I be mad?"  
   
Hansol didn't respond, staring out at the rain. Jeonghan wrapped an arm around his waist and put his chin on his head. "Hey, what's wrong?  
   
"Nothing."  
   
"You can tell me."  
   
"Don't wanna."  
   
"Please?" Hansol shrugged, and turned to hide his face in his brother's hoodie. Jeonghan didn't push him again, just kissed the top of his head and gave him time as the rain continued to fall around them, the droplets falling harder and faster. There was a puddle forming on the ground right outside their little sanctuary. Hansol watched the droplets of water create ripples in the reflection of the sky that it formed, disrupting its smooth surface.  
   
"Have Mummy and Daddy always fought like this?"  
   
Jeonghan asked, "What do you mean?" with his tone unchanged. Hansol twisted up to pull his facemask off and look at his brother's face.  
   
In the shelter of the rain and the plastic tunnel, Jeonghan didn't protest, just brushed back the hair that had fallen out from behind his ear and tilted his head at Hansol.  
   
"What do you mean?" he repeated, evenly.  
   
He let Hansol take his hand and run his smaller fingers around the edges of his bigger hands as he thought. "I don't really remember them not fighting."  
   
"Mmm. Okay. And?"  
   
"Have they always fought like that? Why did they get married, if they've always fought like this?"  
   
Jeonghan considered this. "No, they haven't always fought. Your mum and dad love each other very much, even now, even though they're fighting. They got married because their love for each other was so big they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. If you want to know more though, you should ask them," he added, "I only met them a few months before you were born. We can go ask together, if you want."  
   
"Before I was born," repeated Hansol, thoughtfully. "They got married, and then I was born."  
   
"Yes."  
   
He glanced up. "Is it my fault then?"  
   
"What is?"  
   
"That Mummy and Daddy keep fighting."  
   
Jeonghan's breath caught in his throat.  
   
"If they weren't fighting before I was born, then after I was born they were, isn't it because of me?" Hansol went on, "If they got married when they were happy and now they're not, isn't it because I was born?"  
   
Aching, Jeonghan said, "Of course not. Don't think like that. It's not your fault."  
   
"But Daddy always tells me Mummy used to be nicer when she's yelling and she goes outside and tells me I shouldn't say mean things even though she's mean." Hansol snuggled up against his side, staring at their intertwined hands. "If it wasn't me, then what's different?"  
   
Jeonghan sighed. "I'm gonna tell Seungkwan to stop saying that. That's not what he means." He hesitated, then said, "She's… not entirely well. Sometimes the world feels alien to her, even though she's been here for a long time. Sometimes she gets scared because she's sure something should be one way but it's not."  
   
"Did that happen after I was born?"  
   
Hansol's hair was brushed out of his eyes, and Jeonghan rotated him until they were facing each other. "Yes," he said, pressing their foreheads together, "but it wasn't your fault. Sometimes when babies are born, like you were, it messes with the mother's hormones—because she just had a baby, you see. It's not the mother's fault or the baby's fault, it just happens sometimes, for no reason.  
   
"Your mother knew it might happen, of course, but she did it anyway. Because she loves you that much. We just have to give her some time. Your dad and I are trying to get her to see a doctor so that she can feel better, but she doesn't really think anything is that wrong. It's been a long time since she had you, but the symptoms keep coming back every now and then. We don't know why, but we're trying to find out."  
   
Hansol was looking back at him seriously. He pushed back a little, with his head, and said, "Is she going to get better?"  
   
"Mmhm, but we need to be really understanding and give her the space she needs. If you need anything, come to me, okay? Your parents are trying their best, so you don't need to worry about it so much."  
   
"Okay," said Hansol.  
   
An arm snaked around Hansol's stomach hauled him up over Jeonghan's leg to sit him in his lap. "Good. Now, Captain, it looks like the rain is letting up. I think we'll be able to continue our journey soon."  
   
"Let's go home!"  
   
"I thought home was destroyed in a giant explosion," Jeonghan said, amused, putting on his facemask.  
   
"We found the magic portal to time travel back and beat the baddies. So it's not exploded anymore," Hansol declared.  
   
"I see," said Jeonghan, and let Hansol drag him out of the plastic tunnel and onto the path home.


	7. Jeonghan & Seungkwan: Self, part 2

The hospital smelt sickly-sweet and sterile as always, and Jeonghan couldn't help but wrinkle his nose as he walked down the well-traversed path to Seungkwan's room for what was probably to be the last time. Inside, Seungkwan was sitting on the bed with his shoes on and all his things already packed in the bag on the visitor's chair.

"Ready?" he asked, swinging the bag onto his back. Seungkwan nodded and stood up slowly, leaning on the bed for support. Jeonghan watched him for a moment, then moved to offer his shoulder, but Seungkwan held up a hand and got up on his own, painstakingly. 

As they made their way out of the room, the main nurse in charge of Seungkwan's care stopped on her way down the corridor. "Walking your dad home?" she asked, smiling at Jeonghan, who shrugged noncommittally and shuffled his feet. Turning to Seungkwan, she said, "You have a good son. You two take care."

Seungkwan returned the smile. "Thanks for looking after me while I was here." They moved on, down the corridor, with Jeonghan keeping his pace as slow as he could for Seungkwan while trying not to make what he was doing obvious. 

The hospital was full of bustling people that all looked to be headed somewhere, striding with purposeful steps. People with flowers, gifts, a bag of essentials, worried faces, all looking out for the people they cared about. Dealing with long waits, taking time out of their day, putting more stress on themselves so someone they considered part of their family could feel better.

They stopped to rest for a moment in the lobby of the hospital. Jeonghan watched Seungkwan's face as he sat next to him, pale and drawn with the stress and pain of walking on his healing leg. Feeling Jeonghan's eyes on him, Seungkwan turned to smile at him reassuringly and pat his thigh. "I'm okay, just let me sit down for a bit." 

Jeonghan didn't say anything, only turned away to watch the automatic doors as they opened to admit new people into the hospital. It was summer and the whoosh of air from outside was much too warm, but unlike the sour, stale air from the air conditioner, it smelt of grass and concrete and warm rubber and of life outside. It was somewhat odd how much he consciously noticed about the environment around him, once he let himself think about and pay attention to it. There was so much _more_ contained in all the sounds and all the smells and all the sights around him than he had ever really realised.

Seungkwan touched his knee to get his attention. "Let's go?"

Since it was almost noon, the sun had risen up high in the sky. There was barely anyone on foot; most people were in cars or sequestered inside with air conditioning and cold drinks, away from the heat of the day. Jeonghan had taken Hansol to school that morning like always before coming for Seungkwan but it was now much later in the afternoon, and much, much hotter. It was a little late to think of it, but maybe he should've brought some water with him for the trip.

Seungkwan must be having it worse, though. He had the luxury of being able to wear shorts and a t-shirt, but Jeonghan could see that the heat was making the healing wound swell and the skin stretch tight and tense over it. Still, he was toughing it out, and hadn't voice a single word of complaint, only asking to rest again as they reached the entrance to the local shopping mall. 

As they entered the cool building and passed a nearby ice cream parlour, Seungkwan fished out a twenty from his pocket and held it out towards Jeonghan. 

"How do you feel about getting some ice cream?" he asked, lowering himself onto a bench with a puff. Jeonghan wondered if it was in part a ploy meant to distract him from the way the sweat was beading on Seungkwan's forehead, but took the money anyway and went, taking his time to look at the display. 

The first time he'd had ice cream had been because he'd let on that he'd never had any before when the topic of favourite ice cream had cropped up. Seungkwan had jumped up and run out instantly to go get some, returning an hour later with three tubs and five flavours. A large bowl and a spoon had been shoved into his hands, and he'd had his first taste at Seungkwan's behest. He hadn't really understood the big deal that was being made out of it, but it became such a pleasant memory that he had ended up liking ice cream anyway even though he didn't think much of the sweet taste. 

The shop assistant asked if he wanted to sample any of the flavours. Jeonghan licked his fangs under the facemask and shook his head a polite no, feeling a little nostalgic, then asked for the chosen flavour in a tub. He let the bag swing from his wrist as he left the shop. From where he was, he could see the back of Seungkwan's head, lowered as he bent down to rub at his leg. He dilly-dallied, pretending to read the menu stuck up on the outside of the glass to give Seungkwan more time. 

When he finally wandered back, Seungkwan was sitting up and pretending to be occupied with his phone. "What did you get?"

"Caramel swirl."

"You don't always have to get Hansol's favourite flavour, you know," said Seungkwan, getting up gingerly, "you can get yours too, sometimes."

"I know. I don't really mind."

"You spoil him so much."

"Of course. I'm the fun one, so I'll leave it up to you to play the mean parent." They stopped at the side of the street to watch for cars, then crossed the road and begun making their way down the hill.

"Sorry," said Seungkwan abruptly. "I don't mean to make you be another adult. Being responsible is all my job. You can ask me for things, too. Leave difficult things up to me. I'll take care of it."

It made Jeonghan feel so young whenever Seungkwan talked like this. Not that Jeonghan was particularly old or had really lived for very long, it just somehow made him feel smaller, childlike, innocent, like something fragile that was in need of protection. It made him feel like someone was looking out for him and like he was being taken care of—something he wasn't really sure he had ever experienced, but if he had, it would've probably felt like this. 

It was kind of nice. Jeonghan didn't need to be treated like someone's precious child, but it was nice. 

"I can handle it," he said, "I'm not doing anything all that difficult."

"You're practically co-parenting Hansol with me while his mother and I are trying to figure out how to go on from here. Raising a kid is generally pretty hard, you know."

Jeonghan shrugged. "I'm his older brother. We're family. It's fine." 

"Family," echoed Seungkwan after a few minutes, watching him, "I don't think I've ever heard you admit it before." 

Jeonghan made a thoughtful noise, then said, "These past few weeks have been interesting, I guess. I had a lot of time to myself, so I thought about it. And I guess it's true."

"Just like that?" They'd reached the front door of the house. Jeonghan dug in his pocket for the same keys he'd been given all those years ago, all slightly worn now and dangling from a plastic keychain Hansol had made in some craft class. 

He put the right one in the lock and turned it. Their door opened for him with a click. "Just like that." 

He held the door open for Seungkwan, who staggered inside and collapsed onto the couch with a tired sigh, closing his eyes. A quick glance at the clock told him that it was almost time to go pick up Hansol from school, so Jeonghan put the ice cream in the freezer and gulped down a glass of water or three in anticipation of having to go outside in the heat again. 

Watching him from the couch, Seungkwan remarked, "You look better."

"What?"

"You look lighter. Like you're more comfortable. I suppose some of it must be because nobody's arguing in the house anymore," he said, ruefully.

Jeonghan pursed his lips. "It's not that."

"What is it, then?" 

Seungkwan sounded curious enough that Jeonghan knew he wasn't going to let it go easily, so he gave in with a sigh. "So maybe I've been thinking about what you said before about giving in a little more to my instincts, and it helped," he said, scowling. 

Predictably, Seungkwan beamed, looking pleased. "I'm glad it helped." He grinned. "Wanna mark me?"

"I wouldn't want anyone to know that I associate with you," grumbled Jeonghan, but went over to bend down and press his forehead against Seungkwan's, pushing firmly. Seungkwan looked up at him, then tried to mimic him by pushing back. 

Jeonghan laughed at him, forehead still pressed up against his. "You're not supposed to do it at the same time I'm doing it," he said, amused, "It's not a fight," and laughed harder at the face Seungkwan made when they pushed at the same time again. 

Seungkwan pouted at him as Jeonghan pulled away. "Let's try again, where are you going?" he whined, but stopped when Jeonghan placed the tip of his finger between Seungkwan's eyes. "What're you doing?"

"I have to go pick Hansol up from school," said Jeonghan, grinning, then flicked him in the nose. He cackled as Seungkwan yelped, hands flying up to cover it protectively.

"That was mean. I'm an invalid, you know," he complained at Jeonghan's retreating back, "You should be nicer to me."

Jeonghan turned to smile at him from the door, eyes crinkling visibly around the facemask as he said, "Just keeping you on your toes. I can't be too nice," and let the door swing shut behind him on Seungkwan's indignant face. He tossed his keys into the air and caught them, humming contentedly under his breath as he walked down the driveway of his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it is done...  
> thanks for reading!
> 
> extra thanks to ginger_junhui for checking for me to see whose name i've misspelt this time ahaha;;;;
> 
> i've got 1/4 done of the next installation of this series? so uh yeah that soon, please check it out in the future if you found this one interesting!


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